Still the physique of a runner. | Lifting 101 | Forum

I used to let this situation discourage me, but now I just accept it and try to slowly improve:

My wife went with me to the gym yesterday.  She just went to keep me company.  I did hang cleans; a couple of sets of dumbell deadlifts; and then I did upper/middle back work.  I'm 45 and my wife is 43.    After about 25 minutes, another couple our age came in the gym.  They are both well developed in muscularity and look in phenomenal shape for their ages.  The husband carried a lot of muscle mass as well.  I wear a wife-beater tank top when I workout, because it helps  me stay motivated about my biggest upper body weakness (upper chest), so my physique is pretty-well displayed.

After I had broken the ice in coversation by complimenting them on their phsiques, the couple started asking me questions:  "How old are you?"…"How long have you been working out?"…"How long have you been a member?" and the usual questions about where I live and where I'm from; but they also commented (to each other) as if they knew the answers I would give about my lifting history and like they could relate to my long, lifting history.  I think they were amazed at how lean I am for a 45 year old.  The wife then made the comment I always hate to hear, even though I know she must have meant it as a compliment…"You're built like a runner."  I told her I recently started running, because, I figured, if I'm going to look like one, I might as well be one.

These type comments used to discourage me.  I remember when I was twenty-eight and had the best physique of my life.  I was on a date with a girl that was good looking and had her life in good order; it was our second date.  She said to me, "you're so skinny".  I think she meant it as a compliment (looking back).  I was devestated, and never talked to her again.  I thought to myself.  I've worked this hard to develop the best physique I can possibly achieve, and girls still think I'm too skinny; I must look worse than average people who don't even workout.  

I use comments like this nowadays to motivate me and to also understand, that sometimes people have a hard time making overt compliments and this is their way of complimenting you, because alot of people think the words "skinny", "lean", or "thin" is a good thing, but from my world, it's not.

I think I'm starting to figure this out.  People who are big and strong, but carry more fat than they would like, see virtue in someone like me who can stay lean and muscular into my forties, whereas, someone like me can see virtue in folks in their forties who can maintain good strength and muscle mass (because I have such a hard time getting mass).  We're both making an extra effort to defy the norm, even though we are getting different results, because we're working with different body types.

I can see where you are going greg.  And it really helps some of the younger guys like me to read this. There is a lot of wisdom in here.  I am a pretty unique circumstance.  I don't really fit into any of the "groups" or "body types."  I am a mesomroph, technically, so I am able to put on some size.  However, I'm also very flexible.  Which means, I have a harder time keeping mass.  I do have quite a bit of strength for my size, however, but I am not by any means a big guy.  If anything I'd say I'm an "under-sized gynast." I'm 5' 11" and 180 lbs.  Even being in the fitness field I feel the same way you do.  All of my co-workers are bigger than I am.  And I am sometimes on the reverse end of your e-mails Darrin.  I soemtimes think "Why would people listen to me, I'm so small compared to most of these people."  But then I start to think, I'm not "small."  I'm actually more average, just healthier.  People look at me and can tell I work out, but I'm still small enough were no one would ever think I'm "gross."  I actually think it helps me sometimes.  Some people actually look at me I think and percieve me as "achievable."  Most people would like to be bigger, but woulnd't be upset to be my size.  Some get intimaidated about trying to be "big".  So people kind of see me as someone who is a good "middle-ground" to go to, especially a lot of ladies. 

Also keep in mind Darrin's article a while back about most americans being "running snobs."  Most people view a "runner's body" as a good thing.  But yes, I know your pain.